A Finite Man

I forgot where I heard that. And when I say Benjamin, I really mean PHILOSOPHY!

Muhahah yes I mislead you

I always try to tell people that good sleep is one of the key components to a healthy body and mind, and if not anyone then myself. HOWEVER I am stuck here at 1:05 A.M. and still not in bed. I know that if I got to bed earlier i'd be A LOT better off the next day but I hardly do it :P There's just not enough time in the day to do all the wonderful things I want to do. Like LJ!  MYSPACE! CHATTING! or GAMES!  :B

__NERD__

SHUDDAP!    <_< >_>

So tomorrow my friend Richard invited me to a swim at his place, we haven't hung in a long while and for a good reason: he's materialistic, mainstreamist / comformist and at times, arrogant. I wouldn't mind the comformism if he didn't think that he's better than everyone bc he's "Cool" or up to date on the latest or coolest things and has a lot of money. He's always kind of looked down at me as the wierd kwirky kid who needs to "get with it" and hasn't 100% accepted my difference. I'm kind of afraid that he'll bring his friends along, who are just like him, but worse since they are the ones that seduced him. I talk about being different and individualistic and all this but it's hard with that kind of pressure ALL around you, especially his Dad who isn't too keen on wierd people either <_<. I just feel kind of like the dork or akward kid in the corner who needs help when his friends are around or his family for that matter, they're all kind of bent on being "normal". What's hard is, keeping that confident front and not caring what other's are thinking about you, I kinda ... melt and mellow out and well ENHANCE my akwardness. I just want to get out of there with everyone wondering "what's with this guy". To be honest he's kind of how this whole individualistic thing came out of me, bc I once wore labels and all the jazz that came with being cool and accepted and tried to be like him, then I saw that it was really stupid bc i'm fake, so one thing led to another and here I am: Mr. Non-Comformity. Or Indie if you will, but I don't like saying that, bc then I feel like i'm shoving it in peeps faces.
    But he has my GTA San Andreas and I think Wipeout Fusion too, i'm not sure, but I want them back and I'd like to be able to be friends with him again, sounds like he's matured a little which is good.

MY DREAM 2 DAYS AGO
I usually write this down by hand in an actual journal but i've been lazy. I really want to remember this dream so I want to write it down before I never do.

IT was one of the best dreams i've ever had. It was basically designing or getting ready to design my own dream room(lol interior design fantasies). It was practically a house. It was seperated by a hallway to the house and I had my own like ... 10 acre backyard to myself. It was two stories and had a pair or set of HUGE windows on the second story on hinges that opened up like the ones in my elementary school with the slanted roof, I HAD A SLANTED ROOF/CEILING TOO! So it was like a classroom room, but BETTER! It had brown carpeting I think and AWESOME lighting, and I think a sliding glass door to the outside. Anyways it was a great open atmosphere in my room, but it was cluttered. My Dad had to take out something electrical before I began. Something to do with an electrical fan defect or something idk. While he was doing that I went into the closest and it had the most gorgeous Black and Blue Mobile and some sorta Lamp thing and decided that i'll use that as my design insperation bc it was so bold and black and so me! The big room was cluttered as hell though with older furniture and boxes and random stuff. My Dad was done and he looked at me and said "you can do whatever you want now" and I felt so warmhearted and was so anxious to start. Then the dream ended!!
What a sucky ending, I was going to design and live in my own dream room! You'all shoulda seen it it was magnificent and awesome, it was like perfect! When I awoke I got open and tried to open my windows but theyu wouldn't open, and I sighed, lol it was only a dream. I even looked up to expect a huge vaulted ceiling and great big windows, but to no avail, just a dream. Oh well, I still feel good when I think about it!

and that's it for me, i'm going night night. GOODNIGHT!!

Love, Bene.